How Much?

The question is: how much work does it take to make a relationship work?

How much effort? How much time? How much endurance, embarrassment, humility, and compromising does it take to create a family, a foundation?

And when you have already been married, divorced, and devastated…what types of things become the ‘deal breakers’?

Is it fair to make someone else pay for a broken heart that they were not responsible for? Or is it one of those, ‘Comes with the Territory’ type of deals. It comes with the package.

In my case, it’s really hard to delineate between then and now. Sometimes, too often I think, the lines become blurred and the similarities overwhelm the differences and I panic. Just PANIC! I tailspin through the hurt and pain the betrayal that I’ve lived through and I would so much rather walk away. 

Of course it doesn’t help that I’m on my p, hormonal and crazy almost to the point to a diagnostic degree.

Perhaps if I knew myself better, trusted myself better, I could tell the difference between the bullshit I’ve been fed, and whether the chocolate cake I’m being served is really yummy and sweet, or just well disguised.


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