Hiatus

I’ve decided to take a break from the pursuit of perfection. Anxiety cripples me and I don’t know where to begin or how I even got here.

I know I have a safety net of love and support from my friends and family, but how I hate looking down.

How I hate the taste of failure.

And that’s what it feels like. Again, and again, and again.

Every failed relationship, every mistake, every task left undone. I was the one to walk away from my marriage, but I am cursing myself at single mom life right now.

How do women do this with more than one child? She’s only started kindergarten and it seems like SO. MUCH. MORE on my plate and the job is never done. And I am tired, but I can’t sleep.

It’s not so much about what lies ahead that you’re afraid of. But it’s terrifying to think you’ll repeat the past. You’d rather remain paralyzed, frozen in one spot. You see the path…you just don’t know how to get there.

I think I’ll take six months from the distractions. From the cover-ups. From the denial and the dependency, and all that jazz.

Wish me luck.

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