Well, I’ve done it.
Forced myself to see a therapist, psychiatrist, and fully commit to re-establishing a healthy relationship with myself. It’s been a good, self-reflective couple of months.
First began the ending of a relationship that failed to serve my needs. Where I was not treated the way I deserve to be treated. Where the promise of change was better than the reality I faced every day. I am proud of myself for letting it go.
Next began my work on understanding what Co-Dependency is. What Addiction is. How growing up in a family with dysfunction leads to ill-equipped emotional responses and distorted self-image and self-esteem. Then came AA and sobriety and some self-reflection how often I drink, why I drink, and the way I drink. Numbing out the feelings with the guise of doing something I enjoy.
Then came the ‘positive self talk’.
“I am a very pretty and intelligent young woman.
I am an emotionally strong person and I like me a lot!” (Thanks, therapist Pat).
From there, a medication change from Celexa to Zoloft from an actual psychiatrist, not a PCP who hands out SSRI’s like candy.
I’ve been reading lots of self-help books. Staying sober. Practicing my positive affirmations. Approaching each day like there’s something new and better to discover about life, about myself, about who I am and what I truly enjoy doing when I’m not so busy shuffling around in an unhealthy relationship.
I like it!
I feel better. I have more energy. I am hopeful. I am getting there.I am patting myself on the back for admitting that I needed some help and guidance to get me out of my own rut…and I’m beginning to reap the benefits of that.
Yay progress. Feeling less crazy on the daily.