In Gwen’s Words


This is a thought that often crosses my mind as I jump on the CA-170 in the afternoons, Trinity in the backseat, en route to get Maisy (my perfectly perfect niece and loanerbaby- curbing my need to procreate again at this weird late-twenties junction in life) from daycare.

What I did was manage to minimize our lives and pack what was left into a 5 x 8 ft trailer, then haul that and our asses across the AZ/Cali border to live with my sister, her boyfran/babydaddy/’hubby’, and baby in a Full-House-ish environment in North Hollywood. What I did was quit my old job, found a new job, gained full legal custody and decision-making for Trin, and left AZ behind in a blaze of bittersweet memories in a hazy summertime cloud.

Did I mention I didn’t even crash the trailer into anything? The soundest piece of advice received in all this “big transition” came from my friend, Cory:

“Just go straight. Don’t get into a situation where u need to back up”

He was talking about the trailer, but it kind of feels like my life. (Thanks, Cory).

So here I am, settling in. Happy that I have arrived and aching to figure out where I’m going. And yesterday on the radio Gwen Stefani sat in a morning talk show (don’t know the station, because everything is new) and she said,

“I’m so incredibly blessed to be able to do something creative every single day”

And I’m like, “I want to be Gwen”.

(Don’t we all?)


But since I can’t sing or dance or act or draw or paint (…etc, etc)…I figured it’s time again for me to attempt to create something every day- or maybe every few days. To create what I can- stories and thoughts that move me, maybe even you,  to feel or think or wonder. To empty my brain of too many thoughts so they don’t sit stewing below the surface- threatening to drag me under.

Anyways, here’s to going straight.

if i don't write


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